Things haven't been great lately, well at least for me. I mean there has
been a lot going on lately, but me I don't know. Like I've realized that
Really, there are only like five people that I'm open with. They know who
they are. But aside from realizing my circle is smaller then the social status
of a loner. I think I've sunk to the back of the pack, like I have to made myself
known for people to acknowledge me. People reading this are like "What are
you talking about." I'll give you the perfect example, I'll be walking with friends
and we'll see someone we know, and usually it's females, we aren't big on the whole
what up dude thing. But guess who usually has to be like "Hey!" usually with all the
hand gestures and all. I mean someone the other day I didn't know was like "You're
not cool." Like, I don't care, but I didn't even know the person, (It was a female.)
But like damn, "Where's the love for Malcolm?" No invite to a sweet sixteen that
my closest homies got invited too. I guess I'm feeling insecure or something, or
something ain't right, just me thinking a loud I'm literally thinking of what I think
I want to say next. You know what? Fuck it! Let the beard grow, same with the hair,
and if they acknowledge a brother then sincerely fuck it. I mean if this sound like I'm
bitching or what ever, I don't care. I guess I've become accustom with writing what I
feel. And the funny part is this is just off some feeling like females aren't on ya. I mean
for a minute I felt like Zach Morris, but I guess as quick as they hot on you, they get real
cold. But you know what? MHS Recording Club is coming up, so I can truly submerge
myself into something that will satisfy myself, mentally that is. Music is the only thing
that makes me happy sometimes. Family ain't like the Huxtables so I have problems with
them that have a brother like, "I'm paying for therapy later." So at the end of the day if
the ladies at feeling me, I go to the music. My true love
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