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    10.19.2008

    Things To Get Off My Chest

    I don't know what it is, I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest. 
    Things haven't been great lately, well at least for me. I mean there has
    been a lot going on lately, but me I don't know. Like I've realized that
    Really, there are only like five people that I'm open with. They know who 
    they are. But aside from realizing my circle is smaller then the social status
    of a loner. I think I've sunk to the back of the pack, like I have to made myself
    known for people to acknowledge me. People reading this are like "What are
    you talking about." I'll give you the perfect example, I'll be walking with friends
    and we'll see someone we know, and usually it's females, we aren't big on the whole
    what up dude thing. But guess who usually has to be like "Hey!" usually with all the 
    hand gestures and all. I mean someone the other day I didn't know was like "You're
    not cool." Like, I don't care, but I didn't even know the person, (It was a female.)
    But like damn, "Where's the love for Malcolm?" No invite to a sweet sixteen that 
    my closest homies got invited too. I guess I'm feeling insecure or something, or 
    something ain't right, just me thinking a loud I'm literally thinking of what I think
    I want to say next. You know what? Fuck it! Let the beard grow, same with the hair,
    and if they acknowledge a brother then sincerely fuck it. I mean if this sound like I'm 
    bitching or what ever, I don't care. I guess I've become accustom with writing what I 
    feel. And the funny part is this is just off some feeling like females aren't on ya. I mean
    for a minute I felt like Zach Morris, but I guess as quick as they hot on you, they get real 
    cold. But you know what? MHS Recording Club is coming up, so I can truly submerge 
    myself into something that will satisfy myself, mentally  that is. Music is the only thing
    that makes me happy sometimes. Family ain't like the Huxtables so I have problems with
    them that have a brother like, "I'm paying for therapy later." So at the end of the day if
    the ladies at feeling me, I go to the music. My true love

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